I'm bored.

Extremely.

Me: I'm so bored.

Rach: Same here.

Me: I've done everything except maybe Bungee jumping.

Rach: Then go jump!

For the ignorant , or for the not-ignorant (Place me where you want, you could be on the other side) "Go jump" is like go get lost or "don't bug"

I haven't studied. Yet. I woke up late. Wasted the morning as usual. Surprising how I forgive myself for this

:O

So good morning!! Again.

They talk about the modern Indian woman everywhere. Every-freaking-where.

In movies; Konkana in Laaga Chunari Mein daag saying, "Humein usko muththi mein nahi, rishte mein bandhna hai" and Dia Mirza saying, "Aaj bhi hum naye computer laaye toh sabse pehele uski pooja karke naryal todte hain".

In ads :Showing the woman running around without energy, or the kid saying, "Toh tum bhi office mat jaao" or the one in which she plays with her kid (the Pears one) or even the goddamned ad where the girl says, "Yehi soch toh badalna hai"

And of course in a million other places like the articles in the papers, print ads, Readers Digest....

Once our old Biology teacher said, " Even I know about it, okay? I listen to English music at home."

Haven't you (no lying) ever ever laughed at at least one of them??

I have. At almost all of them. Except maybe the "Rishte mein baandhna" one.

I found them all lame. Very lame. The whole concept of managing a house and working is bad. I can never manage something like that, but accepting it.. well I don't know.

But today, reality has hit me. I realised that it is the very same woman I worship, someone who never fails to fascinate me- even in a TV soap for that matter, everywhere.

I have written posts about my favorite teachers- they all belong here.

My favorite singer - Alka Yagnik is here too.

My favorite actresses ( I dont have only one) - Rani Mukheji, Kajol and maybe even Aishwarya Rai ( I loved her look in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam).I used to love Hema Malini two years back after seeing her in Baghban.

On TV- Divya from the serial Uttaran, Antra's mom in Aapki Antra and sometimes eve Raadhika (the Tamil actress) somehow somewhere have a place in my heart.

Even today, I'd rather listen to Taal se taal than Freaky freaky raat.

Bangles never fail to fascinate me. I'd love to plait my hair. I didn't mention I like long hair- the very very long types.

When I exclaim I say, "Uff" or "Le!" or "Raama". I do say Oh my God too, but I just put this in here cos it fits.

I love applying Mehendi and I don't go out without  Kajal.

I prefer the names Anamika and Lipika to Ria or Tina.

I don't have a problem wearing salwaar kameez. In fact, I'm comfortable in almost anything!

I might not be able to live in a village, but I still like their Ghagras and Jhumke.

The next language I want to learn is Bengali, not French or German.
:D

Ok enough of it. The point I wanted to make is that I have been laughing at the same people I admire. The women like who, I want to be one day. The people who mean a lot to me are those women. 

That I realised in class today. We had Physics lab yesterday and there was this one teacher ,who, I heard was horribly bitchy and rude and we just happened to have her there. She isn't all that old either. Middle aged. I was scared of her like crazy .Somewhere deep down I did like her and respect her, but I never had the stuff to ask her to help me during lab. Yesterday however, she was in a pretty good mood and when I put my hand up (it means I want a teacher to come to me immediately) and she came to me. I called her a couple of more times and she helped me- she was very very sweet to me. I still can't believe it!! After that class ( which was the second last lab class) I started wishing I had her for my lab. Usually I'd say to everybody who had her, "Uff!!! You have her aa?? How do you survive?". I also couldn't stop thinking of her since yesterday. There hasn't been one moment when I haven't thought of her. I didn't judge her too soon, but she makes herself look strict.

This post would seem meaningless, but here is the linker:

I've always been inspired or liked women who are both modern and a little traditional. I also realised that I used to find the term and the concept of "The modern Indian Woman" lame and stupid. Thinking back, I don't think I'd say so anymore.

Ps- I want to do a birthday post for my blog friend. Will do it tomorrow.
:P

She's one of my favorite bloggers and its her birthday today and I'm doing this Birthday post for her.

Her blog is called "Simply me". Its a title I can never forget. 

She has one of the brightest blogs and never lets you forget her blog.

She writes brilliant stories and I feel like writing one after I read her's.

After reading her new blog, I love her writing more.

So now I wish her a very happy birthday and hopes she never stops blogging (even if I do :P)

 

Loads of love Mehreen. Hope you have a fantastic day!
:)

Umm I hope this didn't sound like Hemanth's five point something. But I guess it does.

:P

I was jobless early in the morning, in college, even before the first class had started. The teacher had come in and was waiting for us to settle down. Thats my second favourite part of the class (after the attendance taking-time) and I like to take full advantage of that time.

As I was pretending to pull out my book from the bag, Pari calls me ( she sits in the bench behind mine). She gives me the skin of an Elaichi, shaped like a flower. ( look at it after you remove the inside and shape the skin into petals)

Pari: Togo.Now propose to Neetu with this. (togo = take)

Me: (turns to Neetu). Naanu ninnanna thumba lovvvu maadthini. Neenu nan jothe lovvu madak barthiya??

:D

(it translates to

I love you very much. Would you also love me? That's in English

It translates to "I do lots of love with you. Will you come with me and love me?" in tapori-kannada-and-english.)

Me: (continues) Naavu ibbru Happily ever after aagi irrona. (Lets live happily ever after.)

Neetu: I aalso lovvu you!
:D

PS: Read Lovvu as Lav-wu with a Kannada accent. Ok the Kannada part might be difficult but its funny. :D

and "maading" in the title means "doing". Ok I mean "doing" by "maading"

No matter how much you have, you still end up wanting more. I do too. Though I got a lot more of it than I usually do, I still wanted more. More of sleep. I went to be at ten so that I could wake up at five. Its 6:28 and I'm just out of bed.

:(

But its OK. I was super tired yesterday and I didn't sleep in the evening.

Nevertheless, I'm  managing to study something in the half an hour I have. It's 6:50 already, so it is only half an hour.

Hmm I have nothing else to write.

Good morning everybody.

Have a great day.

Wel I'm okay-ish over yesterday's mood. Not that I don't mean what I wrote. But just that I accepted that I was useless and so it became easier for me to waste time yesterday. I was also away from everyone else's blogs, so I did the catching up. I realised that most of us weren't in the happiest of moods. Though my problem was bad and everything, each one had a different problem and it was as bad as mine. So I wasn't alone. I know that you're never alone, but I realised it again in an altogether different way.

:)

I woke up at six and managed a little teeny weeny bit of studying.

I love the mornings here.

I think I'll stop watching Uttaran, go to bed early and get up at five.

Wish me luck,

Byee

I'm sick of being pissed off all the time.. I can't study. I can't help it.. Sigh!! I just have t pass this time.. I don't know why I'm letting all this happen to me. I hate Physics and all those subjects which come with it. I can't backout now. I can. But I wouldn't. However if I do, my dad wouldn't let me live. I am so not exaggerating. I wish I could switch my parents for someone else's. I wish I had never moved out of Mumbai ; so taking arts would never have been a big deal. Or so I think. My dad wouldn't have let me do what I want even then.

Sigh!!

I'm only doing I'm-so-pissed-off posts lately. I know everyone else is either finding it funny or irritating or something else. I don't know. But yes, I care. I don't know what I mean. I'm a good writer, but no one even considers that a talent. I'm a good singer. I say that, everyone laughs.

I have no other talent.

Plus, I've god stage fear; for crying out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, its self pity and if you say "don't act like a loser" one more time, I'm not publishing that comment. I'm in a bad enough state already. Don't rub it in. It doesn't help.

I always felt that things eventually do smoothen out. I always have felt that whatever happens, happens for the good.

I have a bad temper or so everyone says. Yes I d, I'm just hard on myself, noone else.

I hate it when I cry. I don't have an option. I'm jealous of every single thing or person or animal or anything else around me. Except my parents of course. I can't help it.

I want to run away. Far far far away.

I will one day. You can't stop me. The world can't do anything. Thats what I say to myself.

But I wouldn't run away. I know, deep inside. I can't ever escape this hell. I can't.

I hate whats happening. I can't help it. One bit.

I am not making promises about the next post I'll be writing like, "I promise I'll be back in a better mood with a post with stuff in it. " I can't take any more accounting for. I want to be free. I've always wanted things my way. But for once,  I hope it happens. I'm actually eighteen for god's sake.

I'm not responsible, sensible, not careless, or anything else thats good.

I hate myself.

I am easy on myself. But I can't get the tension out of my life.

I can't study.

I can't write.

I can't sing.

I can't dance.

I can't wear nice-nice clothes.

I can't have huge phone bills.

I can't date.

I can't sit through one class without be threatened to be thrown out.

I can't speak in public.

I have absolutely no imagination.

I can't submit a single record on time.

I can't come home without feeling tired and drained out every day.

I can't go out with friends.

I can't watch TV without getting scolded.

I can't go play with neighbours in the evening.

I can't go get drunk.

I can't wake up late.

I can't bunk college.

I can't have anyone saying, " Harini is talented."

I can't draw a straight line with a scale.

I can't paint.

I can't paint posters.

I can't even play dumb-charades

I can't have a decent phone.

I can't afford to buy expensive make up. I think twice before buying a bag. Actually, I'm still thinking about it and I haven't bought it.

I haven't got a single decent birthday gift though I turned 18. ( I really appreciate N's gift but I mean something else)

I didn't have 20 people calling me at 12 to wish me so that I could put one call on hold to answer the other.

I haven't even bought myself a decent pair of chappals.

I can't even be the best student in English class.

No one else would have written or posted this. I am posting it. You're going call me god-knows-what for posting it.

You hate me too.

I'm paranoid.

Don't mind me.

Thank you for reading this. I doubt you'll come back to this blog ever again.

Thank you.

Its 12:30 in the night.

Loony calls.

Loony: Hi!! Happy birthday!!

Me:Thank you!!

Loony: So what you doing?

Me: I'm writing my record.

Loony: :|

Me: I just woke up and I got  a new phone, but I got a new number. So I gotto go send "This is my new number" waale messages to everyone.

Loony: Hey you're 18 today.

Me: Oh yeah!! Finally!! Yaay!!
:D

I think I spend half my energy fighting with auto drivers!!!

I've been addicted to the song "Haay Raama" from Rangeela, today. I really love the song and I've been singing the line," Tum itni pyaari ho saamne hum kaabu mein kaise rahein"..

I sang it all through class today..

During electrical:

He was discussing the question paper and I was busy looking lost.

N asks me what had happened. I say, "He's so cute, na" *I really meant it cos he was so sweet cute and funny at the same time.*

N: LOL!!

I completely forgot what I was talking about just the second before that and started singing," Tum itni pyaari ho saamne hum kaabu mein kaise rahein"

N: :O :O Whaat!!!

Later, he calls out our mark..

"Harini, 22 on 30"

Me: Tum itni pyaari ho saamne hum kaabu mein kaise rahein!!

Next during Mechanical:

He: Draw these diagrams.(looks at me) No talking. Draw them neatly.

Me: "Haay Raama yeh kya hua, kyun aise humein sataane lage

He: (looks at N) Draw them in pencil.

Me :" Tum itni pyaari ho saamne hum kaabu mein kaise rahein"

During Civil:

I  always look at the teacher, turn to Ne and say, "Do you think he is married?"

So today,

Me: I think he is married.

N: Yeah I think so too today.

Me: Hmmm he must be the type who hits his wife if she doesn't listen to him.

N: Hmmm yeah..

I realise I had to look at the board

Me:Tum itni pyaari ho saamne hum kaabu mein kaise rahein!!

While we were coming back from the canteen. ( Me, with an ice-cream)

"Tum itni pyaari ho saamne hum kaabu mein kaise rahein"

I look at N, say " You're so sweet." and continue singing "Tum itni pyaari ho saamne hum kaabu mein kaise rahein"

:D

Finally N started singing "Kuch Khaas hai" to make me forget this song..

:D

I sang that all through the bus-ride!!!!!!

Diwali!!!!!

:D

My favorite festival!!

:D

I have no vacation this year and have a test just after Diwali!

:D

But I still am so happy happy!!!!!!!

I just finished one round of tests and I am feeling freee!!

So I went shopping today.

Ok not shopping, but I actually went to the tailor to get a dress stitched and to get a packet of electrol for my grandmother. :|

However I was happy about the outing, or whatever..

So I go to the tailor, wait for half an hour and finally convince him to take my measurements for my chudidaar cos my calf is huge( he says , "Nahi madem, aa jayega..) :|

Then I see this small cute girl selling Neembo on the street.. So I say "Yeshtu?" (how much?) She says, " yeradu rupaay" (2 rupees). I hear it as "Yent rupaay" (8 rupees) I remember my mom telling me that neemboos sold for 5 rupees each so I get pissed off thinking of how they want 8 rupees for one small neemboo. So I repeat with a lot of shock, "Yent rupaay aa??" (eight rupees??) "Yeradu rupaay", she repeats (No, two rupees). I hear it as "yellu rupaay" (seven rupees) and say "Yellu rupaay aa?" The girl hears it as "Yeradu rupaay aa?" (Two aa?) and says yes. I have a bigger expression of shock and say, "agalla. Naalak rupay maadko" ( Make it four each). The girl says with a confused expression on her face, " Naalak rupaay ge yeradu baraththe" (You'll get 2 nimboos for four rupees) . "Oh matte yeradu rupaay wonda?" ( So its two rupees for one?) "Haudu" . (Yes) So I bought five nimboos for ten rupees.

:P

Next I see a real nice Kandil hanging outside a shop and I was going inside to ask for the price and I realise that its a fancy store ( a small shop which sells bindis and bangles) and I ask for nail polish.. Though I want Elle 18, I buy Dazzler and as I was going to pay for it, this guy at the counter says, "Madam kuch aur chahiye?" Such places fascinate me so I want to say, "Batayiye, kya kya hai?" But I smiled and said, "Nahi uncle, bas kaafi hai." He wasn't in a mood to give up. "Arre bhehnji, lip gloss hai, lip stick hai, dikhaoon?" "Theek hai, par main abhi nahi loongi.. Kal waise bhi aa rahi hoon, tab le loongi." "Arre.. Iskeliye, kal aayenge?? *sounds pissed off*" "Arre main paise nahi laaayi na?" "Aree aise kaise paisa nahi la sakte..."

He shows me some 2-lipsticks-for-135-bucks set and I actually buy it!!!! It was an Eyete-Dazzler brand :O. I say "Thank you Bhaiyya" and leave..

I walk some more and realise that I didn't buy the mehendi cones I wanted.. So I go into another fancy store and buy the cheaper one. (The 5rupee one not the 7 rupee.. Ok that was because the other one was leaking .. but still :D )

I come home telling my mother, "Don't shout at me for what I have done."

:D

But the point is that I was feeling so happy-happy that I actually didn't mind myself being silly!!

"Come on! You can do it!!", she told herself..

She just had to do this. Its just for a while, after this, everything is going to be okay..

"You don't always do things you have to, right?" a voice told her.

"You can't give up!!" , she replied.

But it was too late.

PHAT!!

Her head lay there on the book and she, fast asleep.

I haven't studied.

I haven't blogged properly.

I haven't gone shopping yet.

I haven't got a cute guy to hit on.

I haven't exercised since ages and though I walk around a kilometer and a half daily, I don't feel like I'm shedding weight like I did a while before.

I have run out of energy. But I still manage. I am not drinking the protein juice which helped me lose weight cos I haven't bought the Litchi juice that I mix it in.

I , I ........I..............

I have no idea what is happening around me right now, but I'd rather not bother right now. Ok read that only for the studies part..

I just got 9/20 in my first quiz. In Mechanical. The guy said if I didn't do better, he wouldn't let me sit in class.
UFFFFF
Teachers I tell you!!! What do they even understand??? These are the biggest losers you'd ever find. Cos they don't understand.
Oh forget it!!
Im not getting into arguments here. Everything I say seems controversial and people would now ask me to study and would blame me. Trust me, you wouldn't want to say that right now. Just save it.